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“I started promising myself to never stay anywhere I’m not very much wanted. I have too many scars to be breaking my bones to fit into places that weren’t made to fit me.”
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That moment where you KNOW you should say no and walk away for your own benefit, and you know everyone else would tell you not to and you’d feel too pathetic to even admit you were thinking about going back to something that clearly caused a lot of pain…and you know you’re going to end up doing it anyway. Yeah. That’s me right now. And I feel like and idiot. I wish I could stand up for myself and just tell anyone who has ever hurt me to fuck off and move on…  On one hand….I haven’t been able to find anyone else who could help or even remote understand how to help me. And I’m probably just going to end up doing nothing as an alternative because I’m tired of trying to find people who “get me”. On the other hand… the whole trust thing is basically nonexistent. And my doctor, and my psych, and my parents, and my friends, and anyone who knows even 10% of this story would think I was ridiculously pathetic and the sad thing is that if there were a way for me to keep this from everyone I would have said yes by now

That moment where you KNOW you should say no and walk away for your own benefit, and you know everyone else would tell you not to and you’d feel too pathetic to even admit you were thinking about going back to something that clearly caused a lot of pain…and you know you’re going to end up doing it anyway. Yeah. That’s me right now. And I feel like and idiot. I wish I could stand up for myself and just tell anyone who has ever hurt me to fuck off and move on… 

On one hand….I haven’t been able to find anyone else who could help or even remote understand how to help me. And I’m probably just going to end up doing nothing as an alternative because I’m tired of trying to find people who “get me”. On the other hand… the whole trust thing is basically nonexistent. And my doctor, and my psych, and my parents, and my friends, and anyone who knows even 10% of this story would think I was ridiculously pathetic and the sad thing is that if there were a way for me to keep this from everyone I would have said yes by now

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agavequeen:

cartoongoblin:

karkat-in-the-tardis:

do u ever just want to punch the world in the face

But it’s not about race, right America?

This makes me sick